Recently, there has been a veritable epidemic of statues suddenly popping up all over the globe, depicting overweight Black females. This is decidedly odd, as the figures don’t represent a particular person of historical significance, but rather a modern “Woke” phenomenon of a brand of human being; the loud and proud Black woman.

One of these statues, incredibly enough, was erected in Italy. If anyone can tell me what significance any Black woman has had on Italian history, I’m willing to listen. Maybe the Italians covered up how the Black females in their society- cleverly hidden away from the eyes of the world- have manipulated things behind the scenes for eons. Kind of like an Illuminati of Color. I’m sure Michelangelo and Da Vinci would be proud. Maybe a fat Black woman invented spaghetti. Pizza. Lasagna. Why not? Any African American Studies course worth its salt will tell you how suppressed Black inventors came up with everything from the toaster to the stop light. Lemonade. And most cleverly of all, one magnificent genius invented the comb in the late 1800s. Or centuries after they were depicted in paintings from all over the world. I remember seeing Pocahantas’s comb at the Smithsonian. What a racist to be using a Black man’s invention without giving him credit. Somebody call Elizabeth Warren.

The Italian statue depicts the unknown Person of Color staring down at her cell phone. Surely, this was considered a unique, historical posture. Apparently, there were no available native born Italian girls- overweight or not- who stare robotically down at their cell phones. Not to be left out, the Netherlands put up a statue of a different, but just as insignificant overweight Black woman a few years back in Rotterdam. I guess it’s taken those of us still paying attention a few years to notice. Again, what exactly has any Black woman done to deserve a statue in the Netherlands? Sure, plenty of nonwhites have raped native born residents of the Netherlands, but they were all male and mostly Muslim migrants. They probably have a disproportionate number of Blacks on the Netherlands World Cup soccer team, but I’m not sure what Black women specifically have ever contributed to their society.

In New York City, there is now a twelve foot statue of an obese Black woman- sporting the distinctive hands on hip stance that has made them so beloved in America 2.0. The statue is nonsensically called “Grounded in the Stars.” As someone once said, if you want to gauge the health of a nation, look at its art. The statue provides a startling dose of “diversity,” in contrast to the statues of boring dead White guys Father Francis Duffy and songwriter George M. Cohan. This is the same New York City, of course, that over the past few years took down statues of Teddy Roosevelt and Thomas Jefferson. The message is; an anonymous Black woman is more culturally and historically significant to this country than the most brilliant of our Founding Fathers, who wrote the Declaration of Independence. If that isn’t a slap in the face to the millions who are still asleep, I don’t know what would be.

The first question that should be asked is; why this curious campaign to install statues of fictional Black women? Who started it? Who is behind it? I seriously doubt that leaders in Italy and the Netherlands abruptly determined, independent of each other, that homage should be paid to a demographic group that has zero historical ties to either country. Now, the motivation is obvious. To further promote Black people. Well, any Black people who aren’t questioning the disproportionate power of a certain ethnic/religious group, that is. And to further diminish the historical greatness of formerly hallowed White leaders. And what about the White women? Why doesn’t Pakistan erect a statue of a fictional girl in a bikini? You could have her staring at her cell phone if you want. Nonwhite countries need cultural “diversity,” too, don’t they? Where are the statues of antiwar icon Jeanette Rankin, our greatest historical figure who identified as female?

It’s hard to tell how many Black female statues there are. A few years back, there were reports of them springing up in Roanoke, Virginia, and South Boston. There were already at least six statues of Harriet Tubman scattered across this country. I doubt that there are six statues of White women collectively in America. The most featured female on U.S. statues is the Indian squaw (yeah, I know- that’s probably “hate speech”) Sacagawea, who has an impressive sixteen of them. I guess statues are kind of like presidential candidates; only nonwhite women need apply. And yet White women can’t stop applauding. They may well like fat Black statues even more than transgender athletes. Roanoke, Virginia, which featured Virginia Dare, the first child born in America, vanished without a trace. The city still exists, and despite being on the edge of nearly all-White Appalachia, its only two statues are of Black figures.

The statue of Robert E. Lee that stood in the U.S. Capitol was scheduled to be replaced by a 2021 decree, in favor of a sixteen year old girl named Barbara Johns, who led a student walkout in Prince Edward County in 1951. It was something to do with racism, which they tell us was all the rage back then. One thing you know for sure is that Johns was Black. Virginia has a statue of Mary Todd Lincoln’s Black dressmaker Elizabeth Keckly, but not of Honest Abe’s overly emotional wife. So this explosion of Black female statues is not really new. They were already overrepresented. As one typically absurd “Woke” spokesperson put it, this is an effort to “confront preconceived notions of identity and representation.” It’s inevitable that one or more statues of Black women with suitably fat asses will pop up somewhere, to memorialize the fine art of twerking. We would not want future generations to forget that.

This well organized campaign comes on the heels of laughable propaganda that “Black women built this country.” What? I can’t think of any group that had less to do with building this country. Well, maybe Hispanics. After all, they weren’t here then. The very term had yet to be invented. Or Muslims. No, it was almost exclusively White males who built this country, backed by hearty and supportive frontier wives, mothers, and daughters. But it’s “racist” to even say that. And on top of that, there is the even more head shaking “Shut up! A Black woman is speaking!” This ridiculous expression is parroted most enthusiastically by self-loathing White women. This kind of insidious programming goes well beyond conventional Stockholm Syndrome. White women are not literally being held captive by Black women. This is just one of the reasons why I maintain at least 1/3 of White women today are clinically insane.

If they expand their horizons, there are plenty of worthy flesh and blood candidates to consider. Queen Latifah is certainly fat enough, and at least has displayed her lack of acting skills in a good number of IMDB credits. Stacy Abrams? She lost an election and is still complaining about it. And I don’t have to tell you that they don’t come any obesier in the Black community than her. Oprah? Imagine how excited the White women would be! Their “girlfriend,” who manipulated them to high ratings, and then dropped their racial and sexual comrade Hillary like a hot potato when Barack Obama declared for the presidency. It would take some skill to get the majesty and scope of Oprah’s giant behind just right, kind of like the Venus de Milo from a dark universe. And if you want to be inclusive of non-obese Black women, there’s Kamala. Perhaps Jasmine Crockett. And Michelle Obama can represent….well, you know.

If this isn’t some kind of fractured, black humor (no pun intended), then what is it? No one can seriously suggest that we should be putting up statues of random unknown figures, who have accomplished nothing to be remembered for. I don’t want statues of hot naked fictional women showing up everywhere, either, with or without cell phones. This is Identity Politics writ large, on the world stage. Black men are promoted incessantly by the same usual suspects, but it is the Black woman who reigns supreme in America 2.0. Who gets to rake in millions with little or no qualifications, while skewering the English language. I’m not sure which is worse; not being recognized for great accomplishments, or being credited undeservedly for imaginary achievements. Obviously, too many Black women fall into the later category. I can hear them screaming “Excuse me!” as they read this.

Why not honor a strong Black woman who has done noteworthy things? I’m talking about my friend, ex-congresswoman Cynthia McKinney. She wrote blurbs for me, and honored me by asking me to write a blurb for her provocatively titled book How the US Creates Sh*thole Countries. McKinney had the courage no one else in Congress did, grilling Donald Rumsfeld about the $2.3 trillion missing from the Pentagon. Oh well, DOGE will probably find that and much more. They are still planning to audit the Pentagon, right? McKinney also stated that members of Congress are asked to sign an oath of loyalty to Israel, which she refused to do. McKinney suddenly started looking a lot less Black, and was quickly ousted from Congress. She’s a truly open minded, insightful individual, my favorite politician. Imagine being relegated from serving in Congress to communicating with the likes of Thought Criminals like me.

It’s odd that these dubious new statues come in the wake of all those which were torn down a few years ago by angry Black Lives Matter protesters. Sort of gives new meaning to the term “Great Replacement.” The “Woke” authoritarians are dancing a politically correct line between censoring any references to certain historical figures, and perpetually blasting them as racist. As I have said for years, at some point history itself will be declared racist. Maybe it already has been, and I missed it. And why not? Math is, as well as proper English. I’ve been lectured about how free speech is racist. Perhaps in the ultimate irony, freedom itself is racist. The slavery that entraps some 40 million people around the world today apparently isn’t racist enough to attract much condemnation. Brown people enslaving other Brown people can’t be virtue signaled. Apparently, all slave lives don’t matter.

Statues used to be exclusively for dead historical figures. Those obese Black women aren’t dead. To be fair, being fictitious, they aren’t really alive, either. A few years ago, the mayor of New Orleans unleashed a new statue, in honor of the ridiculous “Woke” holiday Juneteenth. It consisted of a giant Afro hair pick, with an upraised “Black Power” fist. I don’t know, but if I was Black, I think I’d be really offended by that. I mean, not that many Blacks even have Afros now, and that’s how you choose to honor them? For having kinky hair? I wouldn’t object to that memorial being called racist. This was New Orleans; how about a statue of Louis Armstrong? Do Black people see themselves as giant Afro picks? If that’s the case, maybe having some unreasonably proud fat Black women look appropriately combative makes sense. If only AI could get that neck bobbing thing down, then they’d really have some statues.

This is really a logical extension of promoting ugly art and declaring it beautiful. We now know that the CIA was financing putrid “artists” like Jackson Pollock, and convinced the always malleable public that glorified finger painting was “modern art.” What do you see in that square? Just a completely devious agenda to destroy a culture. And they succeeded. Where are the real artists today? The ones that can do better than giant Afro picks and fat Black women? If we were to judge our civilization by its present art, we’d have to say we are no longer civilized. The same goes for architecture; aesthetically unpleasing, ugly eyesores littering the landscape. How could they have built far more beautiful buildings centuries ago? Why are we devolving in every aspect of our culture? When you don’t believe in God, there is no spiritual element in your art. The divine spark is what makes it special.

It’s not enjoyable to take these kinds of stances, which are instantaneously condemned as “racist.” But someone has to. Thankfully, these fat Black statues are fully dressed, but in a figurative sense, they aren’t wearing any clothes. I’m like the little boy in the fairy tale who points that out to the clueless and/or frightened crowd. Just how brainwashed do you have to be to want to excessively celebrate the contributions of the loudest, most arrogant, and least educated members of your society? What next- a memorial to them destroying a Popeye’s because they ran out of hot sauce? My observations are all based on reality, not propaganda. I don’t want Black women treated unfairly. I just don’t want them to be irrationally adored. Let’s laud the guy working two jobs to make ends meet. The mother struggling to raise six kids on a shoestring budget. Not an arrogant narcissist in love with herself.